We learn early how to calculate safety. We take into account the place and the people and how closely they are paying attention. We watch to see if they notice the two women with short hair and strain to read facial expressions and body language to inform our decision. The simple question is -- can we hold hands? The bigger question is -- do we take the risk?
Because it is still a risk sometimes.
We do the same thing when coming out. We take into account history, running through a mental list of things this person has said. We think about their political leanings, their education level. We think about the comments they’ve made about others and try to figure out whether or not they are judgmental people. The simple question is -- can I tell you the truth? The bigger question is -- what price will I pay in doing so?